


In Your Arms (I Feel The Safest)

by ShootMeDead



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: And gives out hugs like the plants produce oxygen, But he also fixes what he did so, Defeating The Dark through the Power of Hugs™, EVERYONE GETS HUGS!!!, Empathetic Obi-Wan Kenobi, Fix-It, Gen, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt/Comfort, Melida/Daan, More Chapters To Be Added Later, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Qui-Gon is a Grade A idiot, hugs!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2020-10-24 08:23:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20702897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShootMeDead/pseuds/ShootMeDead
Summary: Sometimes, when sorrow invades your soul, and your courage is but a flickering candle against the rising darkness, what do you do when you can't fight any longer?Oh darling, what do you do when you feel utterly alone in a vast universe?*Or, the times when Obi-Wan Kenobi was an absolute gift from the Force.





	1. You Are Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Warning : HUGS

It was a moment of vulnerability that Obi-Wan was never meant to have witnessed.

But, well, the Force works in mysterious ways.

In this particular instance, little Obi-Wan, barely six years old, saw his rival Bruck Chun wrapping his arms around himself, looking very small.

Usually, Obi-Wan would give Bruck a wide berth, knowing that to be in Bruck's line of sight was to invite taunting _(which always hurt Obi-Wan deep in his heart and though the Masters told him to let it go, he couldn't, even though he tried so hard to do so)._

But that day, something nagged at Obi-Wan, because _Bruck_ was never supposed to feel this overwhelming _sadness-notenough-neverenough-hurtsinsid_e feeling that Obi-Wan himself had felt many times.

There was this sense of dissonance that made Obi-Wan bite his lips because as far as he knew, Bruck had always been larger than life, and to see him this way made Obi-Wan hurt inside, similar to when Bruck taunts him, but _different_ in a way he couldn't put in words.

He hesitated a moment then, setting his jaw in determination, scampered towards the other Initiate who hadn't noticed him yet.

Before Bruck knew what had happened, he was being engulfed in a warm embrace, tiny hands coming up to clutch at the back of his robes. By instinct, Bruck embraced back, blinking in shock. The wave of _warm-comfort-notalone-understanding-unconditionalacceptance_ that flowed through the Force towards him made him swallow any protest he would have made. Pursing his lips against the lump in his throat, Bruck tightened his grip around the other, soaking in the freely offered comfort that soothed the constant ache in his soul.

When the hug loosened, he stepped away to a respectable distance and turned his head, eyes closed, to hide the tears that had escaped his control. Little hands tugged his face back, and wiped the tears away, ever so gently.

Opening his eyes, Bruck stared in astonishment and with slow-building awe at the very Initiate he tormented every day. Obi-Wan Kenobi was in front of him, carefully wiping away the moisture on his face, his bottom lip held between his teeth in concentration. Once done, Obi-Wan looked at him and gave him a pure, bright _(shining like a supernova) _smile that filled the shadows in his soul with light.

Before Bruck could utter a word, Obi-Wan turned away, walked a few steps, turned around, darted back to give him another quick, tight hug and vanished in a few seconds.

Years later, it was this memory that Bruck remembered when he was one breath away from death, with only the outstretched hand of Obi-Wan offering him help. Looking at the eyes that glittered with desperation, Bruck made a decision.

Calling the Force to him, he _reached_ for his salvation.


	2. Lean On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fixing Obi-Wan's Padawanhood begins by fixing Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon could not meditate. And it was becoming a problem.

It's been a week since Xanatos _(Qui-Gon flinched, just thinking that name) _died. And everytime Qui-Gon closed his eyes, all he can see is his Pada- _(no, not his Padawan, not anymore)- him _choosing death over life, choosing to inflict pain on his former Master, wanting to have the last word even in death. Qui-Gon could _smell _the burnt flesh and acidic scent even now.

He knew that he has been neglecting his current Padawan, Obi-Wan, by wallowing in the actions of the former. But, try as he might, Qui-Gon was unable to let go of the darker emotions that had taken residence in his heart since _that_ day.

_Live in the moment, _he told himself. But his heart and mind kept returning to that one moment when his failure as a Master was absolute.

Right then, kneeling on the meditation mat, facing the window, the calm, peaceful sunrise should have helped him find his centre. But instead his thoughts went round in circles. The peace he yearned for stayed firmly out of reach. Frustration welled up inside him, causing the harmony of the Force to become discordant.

He almost jerked when he felt a small, warm body nudging itself into place on his lap. Instinctively, he raised his arms to hold the young one in place so that he won't fall off.

_'__Padawan,' _Qui-Gon thought, exasperated and amused against his wishes.

Hands crept around his shoulders, meeting behind his nape, taking care not to pull on his hair. A head was tucked underneath his chin gently. A sigh reverberated in the space between them.

_'Obi-Wan, what are you doing?' _Qui-Gon asked, through their bond, lowering his mental shields partly.

The hands tightened around him.

_'I'm hugging you, Master,' _was the simple reply.

Qui-Gon paused.

_'Why?' _

_'Because you are hurting. And I don't like seeing you in pain.'_

Qui-Gon took in a shuddering breath. Oh, the innocence of a child. The simplicity in Obi-Wan's observation acted as a balm to his weary soul.

_'It's okay, Master. Everything is as the Force wills.'_

Smiling, Qui-Gon relaxed into the embrace from his young Padawan.

_'Indeed it is, little one.'_

The Master and Padawan stayed there, on the meditation mat, comforting and being comforted in equal turns.

Slowly, Qui-Gon lowered his shields fully, bracing himself as his mind reached out to Obi-Wan. He was stunned and touched beyond belief, when he felt love, understanding and forgiveness offered freely by his Padawan.

The boundless empathy and support offered, with zero expectation of anything in return, not even gratitude, did what his fellow Jedi could never do. The cracks in Qui-Gon's soul started to heal, slowly but surely. The burden of failure that weighed on his heart, like a heavy rock, dissipated little by little.

Qui-Gon knew that he will always carry the scars. But Obi-Wan had helped to heal the bleeding wound in Qui-Gon's psyche.

Both Master and Padawan immersed themselves in the feedback loop created by their training bond. Love, affection, admiration and gratitude was shared freely and selflessly. Qui-Gon knew then, that Obi-Wan was a child who yearned for approval and affection. And he resolved to never withhold either, during and beyond the duration of Obi-Wan's Padawanhood.

When they broke apart, Qui-Gon could reach the Force that much easier, the elusive peace filling his entire being. He gently tugged Obi-Wan's padawan braid, a small smile lurking secretively at the curve of his mouth. The joyful grin of his Padawan _(his Padawan - his - he wouldn't fail this one like he did Xanatos)_ became a memory that would be cherished by the Jedi Master for many years to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: do you want Obi-Wan doling out hugs or him receiving them? Of course, Obi receiving hugs will mean him being hurt in the first place. So...?


	3. Water In My Lungs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melida/Daan  
Obi-Wan on the receiving end of healing hugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you that for Obi to get the hugs, he'll be hurt first. Well, he is. Very much so.

Obi-Wan couldn't breathe.

He knew that he _should, _but no matter how many times he mentally shouted at himself to _just breathe, _he couldn't. His mind was blank, his entire body was trembling like a leaf in a gale. One hand scrambled at his throat trying to remove a block that wasn't present, while the other clutched desperately, _helplessly_, at his own hair, tugging painfully at his padawan braid.

Since the time Qui-Gon had walked away, leaving his Padawan behind in the war-torn Melida/Daan _(like Obi-Wan was someone who didn't deserve a second glance or an extra second of consideration; tossed away like something undesirable and unwanted),_ Obi-Wan had shoved all his uncertainty, insecurity and the gut-wrenching heartache deep, deep down, because he had work to do, and it had been the time for action and there hadn't been any time to stop or even breathe, and there certainly hadn't been any time to wallow.

He had told himself that he was a Jedi, and that the Force was with him. He had valiantly tried to ignore the small voice inside that kept mournfully shrieking for a Master who hadn't even bothered to send any form of communication, who hadn't reached out through their gossamer-like bond that pulsed weakly at the back of his mind.

Obi-Wan had been _acting_ throughout his time on Melida/Daan, and now that he was back in the safety of the Temple, the enormous amount of stress that he had been under backlashed spectacularly and Obi-Wan was now _reacting_ to the traumatic events he had gone through in the past months.

Obi-Wan had always considered Qui-Gon and his quarters to be a safe place _(but is it still theirs? What if Qui-Gon didn't want him as a Padawan anymore? What if Qui-Gon wanted him to move out? What if... What if... What if...). _So, he had been caught entirely unawares when the mother of all panic attacks had hit him with all the gentleness of an avalanche.

He had been alone in the quarters - Qui-Gon having gone to attend a meeting with the Council - and making tea, trying to ignore the gentle tremors in his fingers. It was as he lifted his cup from the counter that the tremors reached a peak that caused him to lose his grip on his cup.

The cup shattered with a sound that echoed in Obi-Wan's ears and before he knew it, Obi-Wan had been on the floor, his legs having collapsed under him, unconsciously scrambling backwards till his back hit the wall, his breaths becoming shorter and shorter till he could only hiccup painfully, every puff of air he tried to inhale grating against his raw throat and making his throat muscles spasm, his body trying vainly to get more oxygen.

Tears streamed down his face uncontrollably. He couldn't _think_, he couldn't calm himself. There was a ringing in his ears and he just wanted to breathe, and there were black spots dancing in his eyes and- _Force, please, Master! _

Obi-Wan didn't hear the door to the quarters being thrown open, nor did he hear the thundering footsteps as Qui-Gon rushed inside.

He vaguely realised that someone had gently captured his hand which had been fiercely tugging at his own hair. His other hand, the one clawing at his neck _(and oh there's blood running down his throat, and under his nails now), _was placed over a broad chest, right over a heart that was beating strongly and steadily.

A hand cupped his neck with a firm, gentle, patient, _loving _grip, and a forehead touched his own, as a low baritone sounded in his ear cutting through the static ringing.

_Breathe, Padawan. _

If Obi-Wan had more sense in his mind, right at that moment, he would have asked, with all the snark in the galaxy, _what exactly do you think I'm trying to do here? _

As it was, all Obi-Wan could do was gasp futilely. In his blind panic, he couldn't reach the Force and that threw him into an even worse condition.

_Shhh, Padawan, it's okay. You're okay. I'm here. I won't ever leave you again. Shh now, little one. You're with me. Breathe now. Feel my heart, Padawan. You're okay, the Force is with you. Calm, dear one. _

Just as Obi-Wan clutched harder at his Master _(safesafesafe), _his tunics bunching under the desperate grasp, Qui-Gon reached out over their fragile bond and ever so gently, he brushed away the paralysing terror that gripped Obi-Wan, leaving behind only a wash of calm and peace, and a faint command reminding him to _breathe. _

Obi-Wan gasped in the much needed air, coughing and sputtering as his body adjusted to the normalcy. A sob broke through as Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon strengthening their bond with great care, nurturing it with love and kindness, just as one would nurture a fragile plant. He coaxed the bond to blossom, to grow in strength and in _Light_.

Feeling the affection that his Master held for him, his flimsy shields broke apart, and everything he had felt, everything that had weighed him down, since that fateful day on Melida/Daan - the crippling anxiety, the aching loneliness, that ever-present feeling of not being enough that had haunted his footsteps since before Bandomeer, the numb fear that he will be cast aside, the hopeless love he held for his Master _(accepting that it will never be reciprocated and the most he can expect the Master to show his unwanted Padawan is a modicum of tolerance)_, the painful resignation that the future did not hold anything good for him - flooded through their bond, almost overwhelming Qui-Gon.

_Oh, Obi-Wan... _

Obi-Wan felt himself being pulled into Qui-Gon's lap, and gathered into the safe circle of his Master's arms. He tucked his head into the curve of Qui-Gon's neck, hiding the tears that still flowed even as he bit his lips to keep his sobs inside. He did not want his Master to regret him any more than he already did.

A weary sigh sounded above his head.

"Oh little one," Qui-Gon said softly, sorrow evident in his tone. "It is I who failed you."

A warm hand soothed over Obi-Wan's back.

"Let go, Padawan," Qui-Gon murmured, leaning his head to the side till his cheek rested on Obi-Wan's head. "It is alright. I have you, and I am not letting you go."

And so, Obi-Wan did. He cried like his heart was breaking and he was helpless to do anything about it. He cried like he was drowning without any hope of staying afloat. He cried like he had been abandoned, to be alone till the end of times, his soul heavy with loneliness.

He cried till he could cry no more and finally, when there were no more tears left, in the arms of his Master, he drifted off, utterly spent both physically and emotionally.

Qui-Gon held his Padawan close, ignoring the ache in his knees. He will kneel on the cold floor for days together, if necessary, to prevent any more harm from befalling his Obi-Wan.

He had paused midway through the Council Meeting and rushed out, heedless of his fellow Jedi's queries, to their quarters as soon as he had felt the crushing panic along with a litany of _'can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe' _through their bond.

The realisation that he was the main reason for his Padawan's distress had been like a laser blast to the heart. He had been so single-minded and prideful that he had neglected and hurt the _child _under his care.

_Force_, Obi-Wan thought Qui-Gon didn't _want_ him. And Qui-Gon couldn't even blame him for thinking that. When had he ever given an indication that he was glad that Obi-Wan was his Padawan? When had he ever given the child a kind, reassuring word?

Right that moment, Qui-Gon was filled with so much self-loathing that it was a wonder that the very Temple wasn't clouded with the Dark Side.

Looking down at the sleeping face of his Padawan, tear tracks prominent on the youthful face, Qui-Gon vowed to sit down and have a proper talk with Obi-Wan. If necessary, he will tell Obi-Wan every day how much he is loved and wanted.

There was a lot of baggage to be unpacked, and Qui-Gon feared what the honest talk would do to them both, but the time for hiding behind facades was over. And Qui-Gon _refused_ to hurt Obi-Wan anymore than he already had.

Carefully, Qui-Gon got up from the kitchen floor, very careful about the precious being in his arms, and strode towards Obi-Wan's room. Depositing him gently on the bed, Qui-Gon settled on the chair nearby to safeguard his Padawan's dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been in a bad place for a while now (you know the kind where it tricks you into believing that you are actually okay, and all of a sudden, you're breaking down not knowing or understanding what the heck is happening, but just so, so tired of it all). Yeah...  
So, I kinda gave Obi the hugs I wish I could get lol. 
> 
> Hope you guys like it, and if it's a bit rough around the edges, forgive me - I wrote it in under 30 minutes.
> 
> Possible future chapters might include hugs for: Anakin, Ahsoka, Satine  
New additions: Yoda, Cody, Maul (still not sure how to work this one out), Tahl, Bant, Quinlan.   
Phew that's a long list.
> 
> If you have any particular idea as to how the scenes should go for the above characters, drop a comment. I love hearing from you guys!
> 
> Much love! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Chances are I'll be writing more for this fic, though I'm marking it as complete. So, if you like this and want to see more of this, subscribe to the story (and maybe drop a comment? Just the word 'Subscribed' would make my day, tbh).
> 
> The people I want to be blessed with Obi's hugs: Anakin (obviously), Ahsoka, Satine, Qui-Gon. 
> 
> Whom would you like to receive a healing hug from Obi-Wan? Let me know!
> 
> Talk to me on tumblr: wonderwheremysanitywent.tumblr.com
> 
> Check out my side thingy where I post random otp quotes and stuff: burningsoprettily.tumblr.com


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